This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
