That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
