we're chasing vodka with high fives
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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