is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
