Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
