I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
