Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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