At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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