is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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