The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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