Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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