For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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