I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This house was built for laser tag.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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