none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
