i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
