you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We got so high we made milksteak
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
