We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
