i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
