He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
