I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i've created a new STD.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
