Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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