woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
