i just wanna soil my oats bro
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
