Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just found puke in my bra..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize