i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
