i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I party with great urgency now.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
