I am in a vortex of obligation.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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