trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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