You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
