If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
