Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need water and some morals
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
