my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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