I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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