hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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