I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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