Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
this will be a night to untag.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Randomize
