I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize