Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
