I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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