I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
