Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
