I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
