Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize