he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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