I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
