do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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