you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
