Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
