Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
