Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
