I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize