We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
