i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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