girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize