Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
