so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
