Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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