Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
