Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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