yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
